柯志儒 Ko Chih-Ju
2 hours, 21 minutes, and 3 seconds
In the passage above from “From tripod to Cosmos: A new metaphor for the language arts” written by Baines, it tells us the way how contemporary teachers train their students’ writing skills has been changed over the past 25 years. Instead of simply being asked to write some prescriptive, short, and academic responses, students need to try various forms of writing for different purposes as well as for different viewers in order to understand how to write for real audiences rather than only for their own teachers. In addition, one of the main reasons why the way how teachers teach composition has been changed is the popularity of computer among people. For instance, almost every newly constructed school building has both individual areas in which students can conveniently write, edit, and publish their work as well as do that in their classrooms. As a matter of fact, students of language arts departments use this kind of facility most frequently to make themselves be more accustomed to the main stream of today and the future’s writhing method and promisingly lucrative writing career, which is to write for nonprint media. Therefore, teachers of language arts departments are forced to be familiar with various software programs and word process programs in particular because they need to guide students in computer use and provide environments for them to engage themselves in writing for media such as film, television, Internet, and CD-ROM because the relation between them would be very important in the future. In my opinion, the situation described in the passage can also be found in our apartment. We can see ubiquitous computers no matter where we go in our university, and we, as students of English department, do have various opportunities to use computers to accomplish our assignments or work. I think it is really important for us to get used to this technology and take good advantage of it. As it is mentioned in the passage, writing for nonprint media is really where the industry of writing is heading towards to and where we really need to engage ourselves in. We need to try to write in different kinds of forms and need to know what kinds of people are out there reading what we write as well as to know how to write in a proper form to fit our purpose appropriately. Therefore, I am pretty identified with this passage. (400 words)
10 則留言:
--- The sentences in your article are mostly long, and I think that you might think of breaking those sentences into shorter ones. By doing so, it would become easier for the readers to read and thus, have better understanding. In addition, separating your article into different paragraph would be a good choice. It provided readers an easier way to distinguish from the summary and your own reflection.
I would say the Ocean’ summary part completes with nothing missing. Because it provides with the examples mentioned in the original article which makes the whole summary easier to read, not just write the outlines which may confuse those who have never read the article before. And the use of transition words is also appropriate.
Your summary like Hsiao Hsuan (just) said, is complete. But when it is compared with your response, it seems kind of long. Maybe you can develop your own arguments concerning the article we talk about or make some explicit examples to justify your points of view, if you like.
As a student of English department, we not only have to learn not only how to improve our English, but computer. Because as you said computer has became more and more important. I think you still have to share some experience about learning English by computer, then we can have some ideas about that.
To Ocean
I think the first mission you should finish is separating your article into several paragraphs. In addition, I think there are some unnecessary sentences in the article, such as “In my opinion” and “as it is mentioned in the passage”. I think your summary is clear, but I think you can discuss the article of exam more deeply to make your article longer.
I think you make a clear description about the part of your summary.
I think you put more emphasis on the part of how important the teaching and writing environment is.
I agree with you that as the students of English department, we really need to be familiar with the software programs and take good advantage of them so that we could get more information which the traditional way of writing can’t achieve.
I suggest you to separate your essay and develop your own response in another paragraph. Your response only focus on the using of computers, and it is shoter than your summary. I think you can talk about other topics in the original essay. Besides, you can strengthen the relation between the last paragraph and the whole essay.
I think maybe you need to make your sentence or paragraph shorter. Clear and brief paragraph can help reader easily understand your idea. You do the summary very detailed, I can get many information from it!Good!
Remember to make your works written in several paragraph next time. In your article, there are some run-on sentences. Please try to think about their connection and make proper adjustment. Moreover, all things you are talking about are the original article. Perhaps you can write some of your person idea.
I totally agree with your opinion that students must try to get used to writing on the internet. Because nowadays the technology had become so convenient, that we can almost get any information we need for writing. Thus the importance of computer is undeniable.
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